Living With Food Allergies

We can probably all recall the day we learned that our little ones had food allergies.  The fear, panic, resentfulness and anger...the stubborn defiance that food couldn't, wouldn't control our lives.  Until you arrived home and realized you had a pantry full of peanut products and reading labels would now make shopping trips last for days and the grocery store would be crawling with germs and probably shopping carts covered, dripping in peanut butter.  And then you decided that you just wouldn't ever leave the house.  You would make everything from scratch, you would learn to sew, you would home school, your house would become the only safe place for your child to exist...

Sounds to me like a prison.  We get one life.  You should be living it.  Living it with food allergies.  When you had that precious baby you imagined all the things that child would do; go to school, go on dates, go to college, get married...maybe in between they would play sports, Easter egg hunt, trick or treat.    Food allergy fear lies to us though, it tells us they cannot do any of those things because a peanut will sneak out and grab them, it will kill them.

In ten years of LIVING with food allergies we have traveled, eaten out, played soccer, soft ball, tennis, we have hunted eggs and spooked neighbors, we have gone to school and home schooled, we have  been in 7 dance recitals and that many week long rehearsals and we have done so safely.  You can too, it just takes planning, precaution and education.

First, a dose of reality.  Peanuts (or any other allergen) could be present.  But they probably aren't, and even if they are they probably won't hurt your child.   Obviously, there will be peanut products at the grocery store.  Wipe down the cart, and avoid the bulk section (nothing there is safe anyway!), walk down the peanut butter isle to show your child it isn't scary and it won't hurt them (everything there is sealed).   Go to the park and play!  Run around, use the swings, swirl till you think you might throw up.  Wash their hands before snacking. 

Do the Easter Egg Hunt, participate in the Valentine Exchange and go Trick or Treating.  Your little one won't mind trading for safe filled eggs or safe Halloween Candy and your older child will love getting to pick out their traded for treats!   For Easter, consider hosting a hunt, then set the rules! No food or only safe candies are both perfectly fine...and kids will love the thrill of the hunt regardless!  For Valentines Day use the www.snacksafely.com list to provide loads of choices for treats to share in the classroom.   On Halloween consider having two of the exact same trick or treat bags, when your kiddo gets home swap immediately for the safe bag (this is a big one for younger kiddos or those with special needs), keep a couple safe treats in your pocket in case the urge to sample hits.  Put all the unsafe candy in a box and ship it overseas to our Service Men and Women.   Teach your child to not touch unsafe candy and to politely decline if needed. Or if you'll only be in your neighborhood deliver a safe treat to your neighbors houses prior to the big day, with a note describing your kiddos costume and ask for their help! Your educating again! We have safely enjoyed these activities for years, your kiddos will be having a "normal" experience and will be LOVING life!

Sign them up for clubs, sports teams and dance.  Talk to the coach or teacher, educate them about your child's food allergy.  Ask that they either forgo snacks or pick snacks from a safe list you provide.  Pack your own safe snacks just in case a parent forgets or just disregards.  If you overhear a parent saying something unkind, resist the urge to kick them, instead offer some gentle education.   

Go out to eat! You deserve a break from the kitchen every now and again.  There are lots of safe chains, but you might also have a neighborhood place that you'd love to try.  Call ahead and talk to the manager or chef, get a feel for their knowledge and willingness to provide a safe experience.  Avoid Chinese, Thai, African and Mexican (mole sauces have peanuts often), but there are safe exceptions for Chinese and Mexican, PF Changs has a great allergy menu and Q'doba uses no nuts.  Bakeries are a general no go unless you can find a peanut free one.  

Travel.  If at first all you do is drive two hours away, that's okay.  Your getting out of your comfort zone.  Your going to be cautious, prepared and confident.  Call the hotel and talk to them about housekeeping really deep cleaning your room, see if they have a mini fridge you might use.  Pack safe snacks and treats.  Call restaurants in the area your visiting so you have a safe game plan for feeding your family.  If your unsure about an attraction you may visit, call them too!  Every time you call, you educate.  I also will check out the medical facilities, it's natural to want to know where you'd be going in case of an emergency (the emergency could be a broken arm!).   It will also empower you to feel good about this vacation, you'll be able to relax and enjoy. 
If your needing to fly, do it! You can do it safely, you just take the same steps in protection.  Call the airline ahead of time (Alaska, Jet Blue, Southwest, and Delta all have good allergy policy) to alert them to your child's allergy.  Carry extra epinephrine in case of emergency, and safe snacks for the flight.  Pre board, wipe down your seats and tables, introduce your family to the flight crew, thank them A LOT.  When your neighboring passengers board, introduce your kiddo to them (educate) and offer them safe snacks if they happened to buy peanut products prior to boarding.

If you want to home school, do it.  If you don't want to, that's just fine too.  Food allergy kids have a protected and legal right to attend public school.   Many families choose to write a 504 to detail the type of accommodations their child will need during the school day to keep them safe.  Most schools will not go peanut free and frankly, that may not keep your child safer.  Peanut free schools might make other families resentful and could make teachers complacent.  More commonly classrooms will be allergen free, and hand washing after food will be mandated.  Also, you might ask for food free celebrations or again that food for celebrations come from a safe list you provide.   Your teacher should be able to alert you to upcoming crafts that might use food or potting soil, and classroom celebrations.  Consider offering to be the class mom, you'll have total control!  

Maybe the most important thing to remember is that you are setting the tone and example for your child and how they view their food allergies.  If food allergies are just a part of them, like blond hair and blue eyes and not what defines them, their life will be much fuller and so will yours.  You won't just be surviving food allergies you will be thriving with food allergies!

Cherish your yesterdays, dream your tomorrows and live your todays. ~ Anonymous